The Agony of Victory

Hear the story read by the author

In the town of Normal, Pennsylvania, there’s a little church at the corner of Wilson and Elm. This year, choir director Shane Reed organized a church softball team called The Miracles to play in the Normal Interdenominational Summer Softball League. The team was 0-5 going into the sixth and final game of the season before the playoffs, from which they’d sadly been eliminated by their fourth game.

Fortunately, their last opponent was the Ephesians, a team from a small church in the suburbs. The Ephesians were only 2-3 and represented the Miracles’ best chance at gaining at least one victory before the end of the season.

Shane had extra reason to want to make a good showing. While he was warming up, he spotted Kelly, a player from another team in the league, sitting in the stands. Shane had developed a little crush on Kelly while her team was pounding the Miracles in their first game. He knew Kelly was dating the league umpire who was assigned to their game that day, most likely why she was in attendance. Shane’s heart didn’t seem put off by that fact, regardless of what his brain might advise. Shane’s brain was usually the loser in battles with his other organs.

When it was the Miracles’ turn to hit in the bottom of the first inning, Shane headed out to home plate. The Ephesians’ catcher was a fit woman with a bright red perm who looked to be in her sixties. As Shane got into his stance, the catcher crouched down, her knees popping like two pistol shots.

“They tell me you’re the coach of this pathetic bunch of losers,” the catcher said.

“Excuse me?” Shane asked, startled.

“Play ball,” the umpire called out.

Shane turned his attention to the pitcher. As the pitcher wound up, the catcher hissed, “From the looks of your little girl arms, maybe you’d be better off forming a jacks team.”

Shane tried to focus on the incoming ball, but the older woman’s heckling had thrown him and he missed badly.

“I take it back. Most little girls I know have better hand-eye coordination than that.”

Shane looked to the umpire for help. He just shrugged. “As long as she keeps it clean, I don’t see a problem with a little friendly banter.”

Shane turned back toward the pitcher and tightened his grip on the bat.

“Want to call your mommy and complain to her, too, you little whiner?” the catcher said.

Shane ignored the taunt and took a swing as the pitch came in. He caught a piece of the ball, grounding to third and was thrown out as he reached first base. As he shuffled back to the dugout, he snuck a peek toward Kelly. She was eating a hot dog, apparently oblivious to his humiliation.

Shane wasn’t the only target of the catcher’s taunts, and as the game progressed the Miracles spent a good deal of time in the dugout crafting snappy comebacks. Despite the distraction, they managed to keep the game close. The two teams seemed fairly evenly matched on skill level.

As they went to the bottom of the seventh and final inning, the Ephesians were up by only a single run. With no outs and the bases empty, they had reached the top of the batting order again which meant Shane headed back to the plate.

“Well, if it isn’t Nancy Drew,” the catcher cackled as Shane got in position. “You know, if you put on a little lipstick, maybe some of the nerdy boys would ask you out.”

Shane ignored her. The pitch came in. He took a quick swing and hit a nifty tweener over the first baseman. It was enough to get him a double. Winning would be the best revenge, he thought.

Del came up to the plate. Del was fond of reminding everyone he’d played a little intramural ball in college. Of course that was forty years and sixty pounds ago, but over the course of the season Del had actually shaken off a good deal of the rust and even a couple of the pounds. After looking at a ball low and inside, he pounded a pop fly deep into left field.

Shane made it home easily, smirking at the catcher.

“You even run like a girl,” she informed him.

“Tie game,” he replied.

“Time,” the umpire called. He was looking out to second where Del was doubled over, hands on his knees, sucking in big gulps of air. “Is he going to be okay?” the umpire asked.

Shane shrugged. Del may have regained some of his skills, but his conditioning regimen the last few decades mostly involved doing bicep curls with potato chips as he sat on the couch watching TV.

After a few minutes Del regained his composure and signaled that he was ready. Next up for the Miracles was Thad Wheeling.

Thad popped an easy ball to right field. Del smartly stayed on second. Or maybe he was still too winded to dash for third. Now there was one out, game tied, the winning run on second. And the Miracle’s best player, Kevin Boyer was up.

Kevin hit a sizzling line drive right past first base. It was a smart hit – Kevin only got a single but it gave Del time to make a run for home plate.

And Del needed that time. He was doing okay as he rounded third, his belly bouncing like a beach ball in the wind, but about halfway to home he started to slow. His face glowed bright red and a thin strand of drool trailed back behind him from the corner of his mouth.

The right fielder scooped up the ball and lobbed it to the first baseman, sure that the game was over. But as they watched Del’s pace decrease until it seemed he was moving in slow motion, the first baseman realized they might still have a chance. He hurled the ball toward the catcher. Kevin seized his opportunity and took off for second, hoping the Miracles would live up to their name.

Del stumbled forward and fell toward home plate, one arm outstretched. He would later claim it was a “slide.” The catcher snagged the ball and tagged him on the head just as his arm landed across the plate.

“You’re out!” shouted the umpire.

“What?” Del gasped. “I was safe!” He rolled onto his back to better argue.

“She got you, my friend,” the umpire replied. “Two outs.”

“There’s no way,” Del protested from the ground. “She didn’t even…” he trailed off in a fit of coughing. The umpire strolled a few yards away, effectively ending the argument with the prostrate Del. Shane and Thad came out to help Del back to the dugout.

Kevin had made it to third during the commotion. With the game tied and two outs, fifteen year-old Katie O’Donnell came to the plate. Bucking baseball tradition, Shane had spread the weaker hitters throughout the line-up, hoping since it was slow pitch softball, they could just get on base. But Katie had only gotten two hits all season. It looked like the game was going into extra innings.

Katie was so nervous she was trembling. The other Miracles all clapped and shouted encouragement to her. The Ephesians’ catcher was unmerciful.

As the first pitch came in, the catcher made a crack about Katie’s skinny legs. Katie turned to retort, forgetting all about the incoming pitch. By some stroke of luck, as she let the bat fall from her shoulder it hit the ball, bouncing it back toward the pitcher.

Katie began her tirade at the catcher. Kevin took off for home. He realized what nobody else had at that moment. The ball was fair. Katie had accidentally bunted.

“Run!” Kevin shouted as he approached. Katie looked up, looked at the ball, and then took off for first. The catcher realized what was going on and scrambled for the ball.

But she was too late. Kevin skipped into home as she turned to make the tag. “Safe!” shouted the umpire.

The Miracles had won their first game.

Shane bolted from the dugout, promptly tripped, and landed on his face in the dirt. But his enthusiasm was undimmed and he quickly pulled himself back up and high-fived Kevin. Then he turned on the catcher.

“Maybe you would have got made that play back in the middle ages old lady!” he taunted.

Then he noticed Kelly coming out onto the field. He quickly brushed the dirt from his face.

Kelly went up to the catcher. “Tough loss, Mom,” Kelly said.

Mom? Shane went pale.

The catcher turned to him. “Good game, kid. I think your team’s going to be a challenger next season.”

Then Kelly, her mom and boyfriend walked off the field.

“Oh well,” Shane thought. “We finally won a game!” He turned to celebrate with his teammates.