Loud

by Douglas J. Eboch

Hear the story read by the author

In the town of Normal, Pennsylvania, there’s a little church at the corner of Wilson and Elm. Donald and Marjorie East have been attending the church since 1962. Recently they’d both grown hard of hearing. No surprise since they both entered their eighties a few years ago. The trouble was that in the last few years Marjorie’s eyesight had deteriorated to the point she had difficulty seeing what was happening during the service, so she frequently asked Donald, “what’s going on now?” and, “who’s that reading the scripture?” This wouldn’t be a big deal except her questions and his responses were delivered at a volume well above regular conversation and certainly loud enough for everyone in the congregation to hear.

Being church, at first everyone tried to have sympathy and just ignore the Easts. What the congregation discovered, though, was that Marjorie’s eyesight worked fine at close range, and as people walked in to find their seats Donald and Marjorie frequently discussed their weight, dress and appearance. Not realizing everyone could hear them, these discussions were often not flattering.

One victim of the East’s fashion critiques was Pastor O’Donnell’s sixteen year-old daughter Katie. Katie was generally well behaved for a teenager but she did like to dress in the styles of her generation. Marjorie East deemed said styles to be “the costumes of whores.”

One Sunday Katie wore a blouse that was cut low enough to show a bit of her budding cleavage. When she took her place in the pews, Marjorie, who was already seated, remarked to Donald, “That Katie O’Donnell is sure becoming a little tart, isn’t she?” A chill passed through the congregation. Katie blushed a deep crimson.

Pastor O’Donnell had heard the comment and seen his daughter’s reaction. So on the ride home he suggested that maybe Katie ought to dress a little more conservatively for church. He meant well. Katie’s embarrassment immediately turned into anger. The next Sunday she searched through her closet and found a slinky black mini-dress she had bought at the mall with her friends but had been too shy to wear in public yet.

Katie kept the dress hidden from her parents under a long coat that morning. She hung the coat in her father’s office and strutted into church just as service was starting, the hem of the dress barely brushing the middle of her thigh. She made a point to give her hips a little extra swish as she passed the Easts. Marjorie gasped and said to Donald, “Katie O’Donnell is dressed like a prostitute! Has she no shame? Why doesn’t the Pastor put a stop to this?” Instead of turning red, this time Katie grinned proudly.

Pastor O’Donnell both heard the comment and observed the large amount of skin his daughter was displaying. This time he agreed with Marjorie. On the way home he insisted Katie never wear that dress to church again. He would prefer, in fact, that she never wore it anywhere.

The next week Pastor O’Donnell made a point to inspect Katie before leaving the house. She was dressed in a very modest slacks and blouse ensemble. He should have checked her purse. The black mini-dress was rolled up inside. As Katie took her seat in the pew opposite the Easts, she artfully made sure the hem of the mini-dress rode nice and high up her young leg. Marjorie delivered quite a tirade that morning.

Katie’s two week fashion show was brought to an abrupt end that afternoon when Pastor O’Donnell grounded her for the next three days. She made a big show of arguing about how unfair it was, but it was just a show. Tweaking Marjorie East wasn’t worth having to spend several evenings in a row at home with her parents. The following Sunday Katie wore a knee length skirt and Marjorie East went back to commenting on how fat Del Winslow was getting and how Tammy Billings’ new haircut made her look homeless. Life went on.

Then about two months later Pastor O’Donnell received the call that Marjorie East had passed away.

That Sunday, Katie managed to slip into the mini-dress again just before service. When Pastor O’Donnell saw her enter the back of the church, a heat of fury rose in his cheeks such as only a teenage daughter can cause. But then the most surprising thing happened. Katie sat down next to Donald East.

“Hello,” she said, “how are you?”

“My wife died last week,” he replied.

“I know. I heard. I’m really sorry,” Katie said. The service started.

As Tammy Billings went to the lectern, everyone was startled to hear Katie say quite loudly, “Mr. East, I forgot to put in my contacts this morning. What’s going on?”

“Tammy Billings is giving the opening prayer,” Donald replied, smiling.

He wasn’t the only one. Everyone in the congregation was smiling. Especially Pastor O’Donnell.

The service continued with Katie asking Donald questions and the two of them commenting loudly on everyone’s appearance. Finally, after Pastor O’Donnell delivered the benediction, Katie and Donald stood. Donald turned to her and said, “Thank you, Katie.”

“For what?” she asked.

“For sitting with me today. By the way, I like your dress.”

Katie walked with Donald over to the coffee hour. He got a Styrofoam cup of bad coffee; she got a plastic cup of the so-called “fruit punch.” Then they sat beside each other awkwardly, neither really sure why they were still together.

Finally, Katie said, “I really was sorry to hear about your wife.”

“She was a wonderful woman, just wonderful,” Donald said. “She had such a sense of style.”

“Tell me about her,” Katie said.

And Donald did -- in a voice that was much too loud for coffee hour. But nobody minded.